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my apologies

Gus Savoie's picture

Mejaculation

I take a great deal of Listerine with my morning shave. Screw off the top, measure a capful into it and drop it in the hatch. Then begin lathering up, strategically swishing the stinging alcohol around while applying the crème. Transfer liquid from inner-cheek to inner-cheek, over tongue and gums whilst drawing the razor over a stubbled visage. The initial sparkle of the cleaning mouthwash fades quickly into a searing, chemical burn that continues to build and infect all pockets and corners of my mouth during the shaving process.