SIMON: A nerdy-looking schmuck.
THE VOICE: Authoritative, slick, off-stage voice.
THE DEVIL: Preferably a girl, like Satan in Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ.
SCENE. LIGHTS UP on Simon seated at a table with a computer. He's trying to finish a sitcom script by deadline and is obviously frustrated.
SIMON: (Looks at clock) Damn! (Looks at watch on left arm) Damn! (Looks at watch on right arm) Damn!
HAROLD. A seller of smells.
CHRIS. A prospective customer.
SCENE. LIGHTS DOWN as things get arranged. HAROLD is sitting at a card table with inflated ziploc baggies. LIGHTS UP. CHRIS approaches.
CHRIS: (sniffs) I smell a smelly smell that smells smelly.
HAROLD: Bah! You smell the smelly smell of your upper lip, perhaps. Or perhaps you smell the smelly smell of the last arse you puckered up to. But my smells --
(HAROLD indicates the inflated ziploc baggies.)
HAROLD: My smells, they are sublime.