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"The Devil Goes Down"

CAST

SIMON: A nerdy-looking schmuck.
THE VOICE: Authoritative, slick, off-stage voice.
THE DEVIL: Preferably a girl, like Satan in Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ.

SCENE. LIGHTS UP on Simon seated at a table with a computer. He's trying to finish a sitcom script by deadline and is obviously frustrated.

SIMON: (Looks at clock) Damn! (Looks at watch on left arm) Damn! (Looks at watch on right arm) Damn!

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"Harold Ashby Sells Smells"

CAST.

HAROLD. A seller of smells.
CHRIS. A prospective customer.

SCENE. LIGHTS DOWN as things get arranged. HAROLD is sitting at a card table with inflated ziploc baggies. LIGHTS UP. CHRIS approaches.

CHRIS: (sniffs) I smell a smelly smell that smells smelly.

HAROLD: Bah! You smell the smelly smell of your upper lip, perhaps. Or perhaps you smell the smelly smell of the last arse you puckered up to. But my smells --

(HAROLD indicates the inflated ziploc baggies.)

HAROLD: My smells, they are sublime.

sim's picture

"I, Professor"

CAST

ROY HINKLEY. A smart, lean, lively fellow in white button down shirt, khaki pants.

SCENE. ROY HINKLEY is center stage, back turned to audience. He is hunched over a small table. On the table is an old radio and coconuts. We hear a hornpipe or whistle play a FEW NOTES OF A SEA SHANTY OR JIG. LIGHTS UP.

ROY: (aware he's not alone, turns around) Oh, hello! I wasn't expecting you until next week. I hope the trip wasn't too arduous. (Beat.) No? Excellent!