Lance Steele seems to have hit a nerve in some peoples' funny bones, so let's introduce the rest of the crew before this gets too out of hand. :D
Lieutenant Lance Steele of the Galactic Patrol scowled with grim determination. His airship’s engines didn’t behave like diesels, the weather was implausible, the sentence structure was a nightmare, and his characters wanted to pitch the obvious Russian spy overboard, abandon the expedition to the North Pole, and set course for Florida!
Introducing Lance Steele! For reasons which shall become obvious, I'm thinking of donating him to this community. I bet people could have a HOOT playing around with him.
Stiletto tumbled helplessly, dark and powerless, lost between the stars, so far from home.
On the courier ship’s cramped bridge the emergency lights flickered and came on. Lance Steele shook his head, groaning. He blinked and rubbed his eyes.
“Report,” he croaked.
The Book of Jim
After pondering for another twelve billion years, Jim thought He had this whole angels-on-a-pinhead thing pretty well figured out. So He paused and looked around Himself. And lo, there was Nothing, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Jim frowned, and said "Darkness sucks." And lo, there was light. And Jim looked upon the light and said "Cool! It's sort of a wave, sort of a particle, sort of a statistical function, and not really any of them at all. Even Einstein will never quite figure it out."
Under creative commons license-- some rights reserved
For my first post here, my first and so far only paid submission. Published on a coffee can! You'd have to know me to know how appropriate that is.
Ace in the Hole
"It's a stupid custom," Memtok said.
I shrugged and picked up the cards again. "Even on a planet with two suns, Michaelmas comes only once a year. Besides, I like to see how my slaves think."
She snorted. "You only play against three. How can that tell you how four hundred slaves think?"