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dark humor

metaphorical_cowboy's picture

Door script

Location: Small windowless concrete room with barrel with insignia in corner.

Camera: Pointed at door. Room is dark, but light from outside room is showing through.
Sounds: People running. People breathing hard. Door knobs being checked.

Scene: two men in military outfits check door knob. Door swings open. Lights turn on. Both men realize room is small and leads no where. They’re about to check other rooms when groans and moans are heard.

Man #1: “Shit”

metaphorical_cowboy's picture

Reference

Officer Clarence,

We’ve been at this a while. You’ll almost catch me and end up reading these letters. No evidence. No witnesses. I hope you’ve been watching the movies I suggest. For character depth sake, I’d like you to know me, but it’s hard to remember a single origin story at a time.

Untitled Zombie Movie - Roadkill

This is my favorite scene from a zombie movie script I've been working on for a couple years. The characters are
1. GUY DOWAN, on the run after losing his more competent comrade to a zombie/creature/thing. I'm imagining him as kind of a combination of Edward Norton in Fight Club and a straight Jon Stewart (if you can imagine such a thing).
2. STEVE THE DRIVER, who first appears in this scene. He is named after Steve Buscemi, who would be my first choice to play the character.
3. BLEARGH, a zombie named for his single line in a previous scene.

Ms. Galahan and Her Cardboard Shack - 1st finished draft, short version

The ending is flat-out terrible. One of these days I'll give the story a proper finish, maybe something with zombies. That said, I love the rest of the story, so give it a read and lemme know what you think.

MS. GALAHAN AND HER CARDBOARD SHACK
By J. Alexander Jerusalem

Mary Galahan lived in a rickety shack by the ocean.
[picture of shack with ocean]
The shack was built from pieces of cardboard, plastic bags, and other things that Mary found in the City. The City was LA and Mary Galahan was one of LA's people.

Gore City - Chapters 1, 2

Any criticism is welcome provided you don't think it's complete crap. Because if you do, it probably wasn't written with you in mind. Check the tags to see if it'll mesh with your biases.

It begins:

Hello. I am Tom. I will be the narrator of this story because the rest of me is busy being Trog. Trog is not the same person as me but he uses my body sometimes. This will be confusing which is why I am telling you. So you will not be confused now.

Trog and I have a job breeding burritos and tacos and things at Taco Shack. We have learned so much about breeding foods that we were specially given this job, no application necessary. We are somewhat famous for our breeding skills. I am better at it than Trog but don't tell him I said that.

I have heard that in some places they do not breed their deadfoods, only living types. Special cabbage or sheep made from all the best cabbage and sheep bits.