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W00topia, Pt 1 - transportation

sim's picture

I have recently returned from visiting the remarkable city of W00topia. So few people visit there, and even less return. Indeed, it is difficult to say if the silence and aversion that cloaks general knowledge of W00topia is a conspiracy of that land or of our own. All I understand is that the entirety of the video and images of my trip are gone from my phone; my texts have been deleted from the phones of others; my updates to, and the very entry of, W00topia has disappeared from Wikipedia. Only my hand-written notes jotted down in my journal exists -- and what memories I hold of my time in that amazing metropolis. And what memories they are...

Did you know that instead of cars, W00topians ride in large inner tubes? These are very similar to the inner tubes we float in swimming pools, or float in rivers and lakes,or that we ride downhill when it snows. The W00topians have a small networks of canals with directed flows of water to guide their way. Further, instead of asphalt covered streets, they have a large web of greenways. Literally, these are avenues of hardy grasses which people travel upon their inner tubes. Here, the W00topians employ tow-lines, much like we find in our own ski-resorts.

When the W00topians are in need of motorized transport, they do not turn to automobiles or trucks. Instead, they install ducted fans into their inner tubes, giving them a kind of hovercraft effect. These quite capable hovercraft inner tubes are somewhat less amenable to sharp turns than traditional surface vehicles, but they are certainly great fun. If they bump into a wall or into one another, it is rather with a rubbery rebound than the sickening crunch when our vehicles are crashed.

Lastly, the reclining position in the open air as when one uses inner tube transportation has a profound psychological benefit; it is very relaxing. When a rare rock or pointy stick causes a flat, the local constables always come around with a can of Fix-A-Flat. I believe the ergonomics and playfulness of their vehicular choice is an intrinsic part of the admirable W00topian modality of applied whimsicality.

When you are driving around in your car -- that cage of glass and steel -- consider how pleasant it would be to just lie back and travel as they do in W00topia.