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metaphorical_cowboy's picture

I feel old. Daughter's grown up, but eats ice cream like a kid. Catches too big a male audience. W/o diplomatic immunity, Fed'd reprogram me or kill me. Place's filled w/humans, but she's flirt'n w/a klingon, my second least favorite species. Luckily only a few're left. Truce's I get a clean slate long as I stop selling, so it's temporary. Point is I'm enjoying a nice day out w/my daughter on the last natural quasar preserve. Gov't's trying to replace the stars w/one that'll never burn out so as to prevent a universal freeze from entropy. Keeps the Feds pretty busy. Truce's for saving the Fed, but it put about thirty years from my time period previous to thousands of years from my original time.

Time travel's illegal, but the future does it all the time. The Historical Accuracy Bureau's Dept of Myth & Legend royally fucked up. Their job's to create mainstream mythical monsters and gods and send them to specific society at specific times w/o leaving evidence, giving rise to their sefl-reference. It's assumed the future'll handle obscurer myths. Dragons in WWII killed a few important deaths early so the future sent folks back, but terrorists from a future future attempted to stop the past's future from fixing time so as to change time resulting in a future future's future trying to change things from changing causing multiversal overlapping snatching me in hunt of Z9 Sanchez. Of all the infinite universes, he found a Star Wars based one. Long story short, I'm back, he'd dead, Star Wars Land's assimilated, I jacked another universe's Emperor Hirohito, killed an evil me, then a good me, and helped semi-fix time. A few universes collapsed, but oh well.

Never liked the idea of authorized harrasment of the final fronteir. During my arrest after the WWII incident, Charlie D's clone interrogated. Goes by Officer Ralphonzo Lopez now for psychological reasons. Doesn't even care that he's had memory implants, part of the program. Said the agency's a required evil like most agencies. The conversation went off tangent to political psychology. Appearantly, Earth's remaining voters maintain disillusion's concept w/politics. Currently, world gov't leaders're on T.V (a visual media. Actual T.V.'s were retired long ago.) twenty-four earth hours a day, what w/Prez Channel. At one point, President TFK realized what'd keep the mobs happy. His "Woe Is Me" speech broke presidential social norms. Past presidents tried to appear to have backbone. By acting emotionally conflicted/depressed, his popularity rose. Certainly came in handy when he murdered the secretary of defense in front of billions, later to be called the clap heard around the world, followed by the skinning of her to be made into a dress, reffered to as the awkward shifting of feet heard around the world.

Back on track in chronological conversation, certain events can't be changed in that "effects" weren't worth the cause. Trying to kill "important" people rarely works't simply kill Vladus when they had the chance. They did, but artificial time travel always catch's something's attention. After many chaos mathematically applied attempts, the variables don't change enough. Turns out life actually is a popularity contest. Only one percent are safe, the other folks are spacially expendable. If chronotons weren't so naturally absorbant in the memory department, retrocausality's downward spiral'd spin into unexistence. The average chronoton contains atomic "memories" of around ten to twenty time lines, so when said ability's used, various structurally similiar events maybe switched. Sucks knowing something's always killing you in one way or another.

The bureau's existence stems from the out of the box thinking of a mental patient/ professor of pre-quantum mechanics. Jethro's Retrocausality Theory suggests that the past exists only b/c of events that happened in the future. While certain events can't be reached at the moment, his theory predicted that time traveling technology will increase backwards such that most likely today's time traveling technology originates from the future's progress being mentally implanted into today's minds. The over all effect is that eventually time traveling technology will be more readily available to the past as if the past'd created it independently. Jethro's second theory concerned the creation of the multiverse beginning from a apocalyptic event in the future causing a backfall wave through pre-chronoton strings, giving enough minimal kinetic energy required for the infinite mass of nothingness to shift out of balance just enough to cause said event. The fact that no one seems to recieve time travelers in this age past two milleniums into the future does little to calm. Professor Jethro lost political points after suggesting that the Fed/Gov't was a humanitarian conspiracy. Ultimately, his anti-clothing policy, combined w/ soul power principles destroyed his reputation.

Gov't let me go. The home's empty. Wife's dead. Never thought to ask about age w/her. Appearantly, they're good for only twenty years, explaining the speedy breeding cycles. I'll miss her. The kid's're different, what w/my side and all. Before I left, I sent my sons to go forth and multiply. Now they constitute ethnic minorities on a few planets, thus guaranting them more rights than the native inhabitants. Only my daughter lives here now. I own an entire planet w/a population of two. Kinda sad.

Fed tech hasn't changed much. Drug efficiency's wearing down. Saw an article on the human brain smoothing out. Written by some sophisticated profressor explaining such as efficiency by improved for larger usable brain area. Teachers're threatening to strike if the next generation of children aren't implanted w/half life chips. Nothing amazing new, considering chemical reprogramming technology's generations old. System works by sending information into the human brain. Doesn't really work the same as experience, but makes learning half as hard b/c the nueral pathways have had practice for a particular thought. Some mentioned mind control but he was asked to leave. No one likes to hear about conspiracies, especially when they're true.

As if losing the moral highground wasn't enough, it seems the Fed's given enough political blow jobs to gain legalization under certain grounds. The underground motto for the Fed's that given a meter, they take a kilometer. Despite the one world one gov't constitution forbids cloning, they replicated Charlie D and reprogrammed him as their top anti-substance/anti-anarchy agent, essentially meaning above the law. Interestingly enough, while I was gone, he was hunting down Alabaster Lester, but fell in love w/him. Homeboy even showed me the wedding video agaisnt my will. The conversation dabbled from his new philosophy of letting things go to telling me about homosexuality's societal advantages. Every society since the twenty-second century that embraced homosexuality never had uncontrollable population growths. I meant to remind him about pesticides, but the conversation moved on to genetic superiority in that heterosexuality's still looked at by a few as reckless. Having a child genetically designed for the couple in theory reduces the number of defects. He explained that if abortion'd stayed as a social taboo for another century, the human race'd be covered in enough mutations to break down the species.